When You Keep Learning Instead Of Taking Action

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-keep-learning-instead-of-taking-action/

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Alexander Heyne

“Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise.” ~Horace

It was day five without food, meditating in a cave in the Sahara desert.

In 2009, I skipped out on two weeks of my senior year of college to go to the desert.

Ever since I was a young I had been into exploring the boundaries of the self. I had always wanted a period of time when I could totally be alone for days—not a word spoken to me, where I could go deeper into my mind than ever before until I simply evaporated.

So there I was.

Just the desert sands, the sky, and me.

And I was bored.

The mind-bending impenetrable boredom was the first thing that hit me. Hard.

And I’m not one of those people who is constantly multitasking. You can put me in a room for 3 hours and tell me to do something quietly and I’ll come out fine, sanity-intact.

However there was something so stubborn about this boredom. I was wondering if perhaps I should’ve just gone back to my daily meditation routine instead of flying all the way into the Sahara desert.

The days eventually passed, the sun rose and set like it should, and every once in a while I had little visitors stop by.

A dragonfly.

I thought that was a little weird, since I knew dragonflies don’t go far from water.

Two dragonflies. Hmm.

Five dragonflies.

A cloud of dragonflies flying in formation. That was pretty bizarre, I thought.

As the days wore on, I started experiencing the subtle effects of hunger. Pain and nausea wore off after day 1—and afterwards I just experienced weakness from the lack of food.

Standing up produced prolonged dizziness and mild blackouts.

Dreams were much more frequent and incredibly vivid; I sometimes had more than 10 per night.

But as the days wore on I became curious as to why I was there, doing what I was doing at that moment.

Around day five when I was hanging in there, I had a feeling of someone sitting next to me who said, “Often times, to know God is to know oneself.”

It was similar to the inscription found at Delphi, “Know thyself.”

And I thought: well that was slightly creepy, although intriguing.

And incredibly vague, what does knowing oneself mean anyway?

As the afternoon sun set, I meditated into the night on that statement, and I thought about my past history:

I was notorious for “knowing” everything because of how much I read, but in reality I truly “knew” very little of the knowledge that comes via application.

It’s like in the Matrix where Morpheus tells Neo, “There’s a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.”

All that book knowledge I had accumulated was essentially useless, because I hadn’t done anything with it.

I had merely put my brain into nice little jars, which sat on shelves to collect dust.

Knowledge without application. Useless.

I was containing it, absorbing it, and hoarding it. And I pondered that for a while.

I realized that reading gave me the false impression that I was actually “doing” something.

I had deceived myself for many years into thinking I was somehow getting work done, when in reality, I was merely using my brain as a changing station where new information constantly came and went.

Think of it like this: If you are working on a business, or working on a diet, or implanting good habits, “reading and researching” means 5% of your 100% toward success.

That 95%, that hardest part, that facet that distinguishes the accomplished from the not-yet-accomplished, is simply the doing.

And reading gives you the false sense of accomplishment associated with knowing rather knowing by application.

If you are like me, my recommendation to you is this: stop reading so much.

Stop the constant research.

Stop the constant planning.

Stop the constant “once I have everything together I’ll get started” type business plan.

One of the greatest gifts I’ve been given is the reminder that success comes first and foremost from doing—because ultimately the fruit only comes from sowing the seeds, not thinking about them, planning the garden, reading the farmer’s almanac, or talking to other farmers.

Sowing them.

So whenever it is that you get back to work, or head to the gym, or work on your blog, remember to spend your life wisely in application, not only in thought, speculation, or research.

What good is the smartest scientist if he doesn’t share his findings with others?

What good is the most effective diet plan if you don’t try it?

What good are 400 more strategies for blogging for your business if you aren’t already trying any?

The utility of knowledge rests only in its application.

It is the keystone of success, and even the tiniest steps are worth their weight in gold.

Action is the greatest gift that only you can give to yourself, so get started.

12 Gifts You Can Enjoy Now : Improve Your Outlook On Life

 

 

 

 

 

Quite agree with this sentence – “If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/12-gifts-you-can-enjoy-now-improve-your-outlook-on-life/

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kevin Tyler Smith

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

About 10 years ago, I started on a journey any college dropout would embark on to quell the little voices in my head that said, “If you want to be happy, earn good money, and validate your choice of quitting college, you better get moving.”

This epiphany fueled my mission. What was my mission of choice?

Get rich quick schemes. The guy on the TV said it would work so it must be legitimate, right? Needless to say, I dangerously careened out of control in the years to follow with each scheme I bought into.

At rock bottom and nearly bankrupt, I did some serious soul searching sprinkled with a little counseling. I learned I was correlating my level of life satisfaction with the size of my bank account.

At that time, I was not happy with my meager vocation or the person I had become. The wealthy, extraordinary life I longed for was vanishing further out of reach with each passing year.

I didn’t realize it, but I was searching for something I already had. Cloaked before me, right within my immediate reach was a beautiful life worth living. All I had to do was open my eyes and change my perspective.

Maybe you feel like the fire is gone and there’s just nothing exciting in your life. Maybe you’re just plain disheartened with who you have become and the life you are living.

No matter how discontent you might feel, know it’s only temporary. You can choose to change that feeling if you lift your veil of dismay and aim to create clarity about your life and what matters.

Focus on these 12 gifts and the world will seem like a much brighter place:

1. Your buddy network.

Friends are there to comfort and guide you every step of the way. They also deal with trials every now and then, like you. It is adventurously therapeutic for you to walk together,communicate authentically, and support each other through times of difficulty.

2. Your beautiful world.

Stop and take time to appreciate the trees, the birds, and the wind blowing in your face. Look around you. It’s a magnificent world that’s available to you 24 hours a day—for free. Thesimplest things that can make you happy are around you, right now.

3. Your ability to work.

Even if you’re currently out of work, there are opportunities, and you will seize one eventually. It’s always empowering to realize you have options to earn and take care of yourself.

4. Your opportunity to travel.

It’s a big world out there and you have the chance to explore new sights and different experiences. The cultures of other countries will leave you mesmerized with how congruent or vastly different we all are, even though we live under the same blue sky. And if you can’t travel far, you can still venture to unfamiliar places and experience something new.

5. Your opportunity for altruism.

Release worries about your own plight and focus on others in need. Join causes and relief programs, talk to a suffering friend, or assist people in hospitals. When you take the focus off of your life through meaningful advocacy and volunteering, you will make a difference andappreciate how fulfilled you really are.

6. Your family.

You most likely have a partner, a child, or a relative who heavily depends on you. These people enjoy life in part because you are alive. This is an important role, treat it with care.

7. Your role in the environment.

Your time here on earth will determine how the future generations will live theirs. Quite empowering, huh? People today have a responsibility to keep the environment safe for others to enjoy down the road. Life is meant to be shared, including the generations that follow.

8. Your uniqueness.

Grab a pen and paper and write down all your skills and talents, no matter how small. You may be surprised at how many you have that you do not utilize. Start sharing these gifts to bring joy to others around you, and give them the chance to appreciate your uniqueness.

9. Your blessings.

Pessimists have the habit of complaining about things they don’t have. Do the exact opposite and love your life for the things that you do have, no matter how little. Be thankful for your home, your food, and the people you care about in your life.

10. Your goals.

Goals make you feel alive and keep you motivated. Challenges make people stronger. If you keep working toward your dreams, you will feel more confident and empowered with every passing day.

11. Your modern technology.

Technology enables us to share and learn on sites like these. Without the web, I would never have discovered the simple wisdom of Tiny Buddha and how to deal with criticism, especially at a time when I needed options. Where else can you get such insight? Remember that we are fortunate to have access to tools that enrich our lives.

12. Your potential.

Be part of the big solution in changing the world for the better. Every person has a moral responsibility to live their life mindfully and bring about positive change for others. The cause and advocacy may vary, but as a whole, our commitment to utilize our potential makes life and the world better for everyone.

We have options to combat a negative outlook on life. Of course, we still have to deal with the natural ebb and flow of happiness and sadness in life, but that gets easier with practice.

Choose to see what’s right about the world. Then go out there and really live.

 

 

Life…Echo

Some stuff I read & liked…

Life is an echo, what you send out, comes back.

What you sow, you reap.

What you give, you get.

What you see in others, exists in you.

Remember, life is an echo, it always gets back to you…

Creating Happiness From Within Even When Times Get Tough

 

I totally agree with the author..hanging around with negative people will only drag you down with them…most tiring…

 

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/creating-happiness-from-within-even-when-times-get-tough/

Tiny Buddha

The Sun has got his hat on, hip-hip-hip-hooray

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jessica Ainscough

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.” ~Denis Waitley

Why is it that it can take something as dramatic as a cancer diagnosis to wake you up to the way you should be living your life? One wasn’t even enough for me. I needed to be hit with the C-bomb twice in order to get the message that I was looking at life all wrong.

Just a few years ago I was working at my hectic dream job as the online editor for a teen magazine, partying three nights a week (and that was just the week nights) and living on a diet that consisted mostly of champagne, canapés, and late night Lean Cuisines.

But then in 2008, when I was just 22 years old, I was diagnosed with a very rare, aggressive, and essentially “incurable” form of cancer called Epithelioid Sarcoma, in my left hand, arm, and armpit. Chemotherapy and radiation don’t have any success with this type of cancer, and I had too many tumors to perform surgery.

With no knowledge whatsoever about cancer, apart from the fact that Kylie Minogue has survived it, I was eager to do whatever my doctors told me to do—everything except have my arm amputated.

So I went for their second choice of treatment and had an extremely high dose of chemo pumped into just my arm. If that amount went into my body, I would have been dead in an instant.

Following scans showed I was clear of cancer, but in 2009—not even a year after going into remission—the cancer was back. The doctors told me that my only real chance of prolonging my survival would be to have my arm amputated at the shoulder, but that this would just be biding my time.

I decided then to take matters into my own hands. I refused their offers and began searching for natural, alternative cancer treatments.

The way I saw it I had two choices: I could let them chase the disease around my body until there was nothing left of me to cut, zap, or poison; or I could take responsibility for my illness and try to bring my body to optimum health so that it could heal itself. For me it was an easy decision.

This all led me to Gerson Therapy—a strict and rigorous regime of hourly juicing, round-the-clock coffee enemas, a basic vegan diet, and a program of cancer-fighting supplements. I went to Mexico to stay at the Gerson clinic for three weeks, and then came home to continue the therapy with the help of my family.

I am now 16 months into the therapy and I am ecstatic to report that it is working. I have had no cancer spread, no more lumps popping up (they were popping up rapidly beforehand), and I can actually see some of my tumors coming out through my skin and disappearing.

My cancer journey has been the most emotionally taxing, but completely liberating and fascinating experience, and I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything. Before, I was just going through the motions. Now, I live my life with intention and authenticity.

When everything is peachy, it is easy to get caught up in superficial pursuits and pleasures. Hard times call for us to go deep and tap into a source of happiness that miracles are made from.

We tend to think that life comes at us, not from us; and that our thoughts are a result of our reality rather than the other way around. We are constantly looking outside of ourselves for happiness, when all we need to do is send the search party within.

I think there’s nothing worse than someone acting all holier than thou and telling you that happiness is as easy as sitting in a trance for an hour a day. So that’s not what I’m going to do.

Instead, I’m going to share some of the powerful practices that I employ daily to keep the drunken monkeys in my mind in line.

How to cultivate happiness from within, right now:

Control what you can, and let go of what you can’t.

Instead of struggling, fighting, and beating yourself up over things that don’t flow as smoothly as you’d like, accept what you can’t control. Worrying about it won’t change it, so why waste your time spinning your wheels?

This doesn’t mean that you should just surrender when things start to get a little tough. If there is one thing I have learned through my dance with cancer it’s that we generally have more options than we realize. This just means that with practice, we can learn to recognize the difference between what’s within our power and what’s not.

Sometimes, we need to accept that something is over. Sometimes, our options run out. I was completely shocked when someone suggested that eventually, I’ll need to accept that I’ve learned all my lessons and my time is up. I thought, “How dare they be so casual about something as horrible as death?”

But death is a part of life for all of us. Coming to terms with your own mortality adds an extra layer of empowerment to your life.

Learn to love yourself.

According to the Mighty Mother of Metaphysics, Louise Hay, most (if not all) of our issues stem from the belief that we are not good enough. We’ve been berating ourselves our whole lives—of course we aren’t happy! It’s time to turn that around.

I have the affirmation, “I love and approve of myself” on constant repeat in my mind. I also have it stuck to my bathroom mirror so that it catches my eye whenever I go to criticize myself.

Spend time with people who make you happy.

When you hang out with Negative Nancy and Alexander Downer, there’s no wonder you’re in the doldrums. Surround yourself with positive, inspiring people who you love to be around.

This seems like a bit of a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how often we keep people around just because they are familiar or because we don’t want to rock the boat.

I’m now very careful about the kind of energy I allow myself to absorb from other people. If they aren’t supportive or considerate, I don’t let them zap my enthusiasm.

Of course, this is a little more difficult if the negative energy belongs to someone you love. If this is the case, perhaps it could be helpful to gently let them know the way you feel. If they are receptive and take it on board, great! If not, it might be time to reevaluate whether the relationship is still serving a balanced purpose.

Get some perspective.

When it seems as though life has handed you a bad hand, take a moment to think about all the people who are in a far worse position than you. I watch Oprah every day and it always helps me realize that as bad as it seems, there is always someone dealing with a bigger pickle than me.

Pay it forward.

Remember those people who have it far worse? Look out for them. Being charitable, doing your bit for humanity, going out of your way to do something for someone else—it all helps to make you feel good, as well. Not only will it help others and attract good karma in the long run, in the short term it will give you a great feeling of self-worth.

Get your OM on.

I know I said I wasn’t going to tell you to sit in a trance for hours each day, but how about starting with just five minutes? In my opinion, the absolute best way to re-connect your mind with your body is to meditate.

I aim to do about 30 minutes to an hour each day, and just lately I have really been noticing the subtle changes being carried out into my everyday life. Start with five minutes a day of sitting silent and still, focusing on your breath, and work your way up to half an hour. It might be a struggle at first, but the benefits will make it worth it.

What helps you cultivate happiness?

5 Questions When You Aren’t Sure What You Want In Life

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-questions-when-you-arent-sure-what-you-want-in-life/

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

There are times in life when we just don’t know what we want. These are the awkward in-between places where we feel uncertain and unsure, and perhaps even question our purpose.

There was a pivotal time in my life, after I got my Counseling Psychology Masters degree and had a private practice, when I knew I did not want to be a therapist.

I left counseling to help my husband start his fashion business, even though this was not an interest of mine. My true desire was to write and publish books, but at the time I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about.

A year later, while riding my bike on a beautiful sunny day, I tried to pop a wheelie over a curb and fell, hitting the back of my head on a car bumper and then the road.

The neurologist told me I had a moderate concussion and I needed to lie low for three months. I got migraines from simply walking around the block, so I had to stop completely.

While I was sitting at the kitchen table one afternoon, I got the idea for my now published book and card deck set. It hit me harder than the fall off my bike. After helping my husband with his business for a year, without knowing what was next for me, I was ready to hit the ground running.

These places where we are asked to be still and experience the unknown are as important to our journey as the times when we feel certain. An empty blank canvas permits the unanticipated and unexpected to appear.

Like a trapeze artist letting go of one bar we suspend in a gap before the next bar comes swinging towards us. This space is the catalyst that creatively births us into new ways of being.

Here are 5 key questions to experience relaxation, stillness, and peace while resting in the uncertainty of the unknown:

 1. What if I didn’t have to search and know what I want right now?

Searching causes us to look for something “out there” in order to fill a perceived sense of lack, when what may serve us more right now is to simply be in the emptiness.

When something is ripe and ready, it will come to us as an insight, a direct “knowing,” as if from a higher place beyond the mind.

As if from nowhere, we feel in our hearts an unquestioning “Yes!”

In the effort of “trying to find,” we jut out into the future. Yet, it’s really in the present moment where we actually discover it.

Looking back, I realize there were many important things I learned while helping my husband with his business that helped me in the business of publishing my book.

It was all divinely perfect.

2. What if I didn’t have to force change to happen?

I used to love puzzles, but those 1,000+ piece puzzles, where all the pieces looked alike, freaked me out. I remember out of frustration picking up a piece and trying to force it to the fit in the puzzle.

You know exactly where this got me.

We can’t force something to come, but we can set our intention for it. I set an intention to write and publish books 10 years before it actually happened. But during that time, I gathered all the pieces I needed to create my first project, including the content, the personal experience, and the inner–growth.

One day, beyond my control, all the pieces came together for a moment and fit.

3. What if I focus on how I can help others?

Even if you don’t know exactly what you want next, you can start by helping other people, in a way that feels meaningful to you, and see where that leads you.

When we look at what we love doing and we combine it with the desire to help others, these two components come together and ignite like a match against a surface.

4. What if I could let go?

What if you could let go of the need to know it or discover it right now?

This is not about resolving yourself or giving up on a dream. But when we drop the grasping and the need to have it, we give ourselves some room to breathe.

Then we are freer to explore, to be inventive, and to create just for the pure sake of creating, without being attached to the dream having to come into form.

With some spaciousness, we feel more relaxed, and more able to meet the present moment and enjoy the process.

5. What if I could feel safe in the unknown?

Unfortunately, my mother who has cancer goes in and out of the hospital almost every three weeks for chemo treatments.

Every day when I see or speak to her, I get the same unbelievable attitude. While waiting for news from recent tests, she always surrenders to the unknown.

“Mom, how do you do this?” I asked wanting to learn. “Isn’t it hard to wait like this—in the unknown?”

As if I asked a silly question, she responded quickly, “That’s what we all do, Lynn, all the time. That’s what life is.”

“How did you get so wise?” I asked. “How can you be so patient?”

“That’s all we can do,” she responded. “We have no other choice. One step at a time”

For my Mom, it’s more like “Don’t sweat the big stuff.” The small details are where she can gain some sort of control.

She likes her coffee poured two inches into the cup and microwaved for thirty seconds. Her day planner, Chapstick, and crossword puzzles are stacked neatly to the left on the hospital bedside table, and the phone sits on the bed next to her hip for easy access.

She always put out a bowl of mini Snickers, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and Three Musketeers, as a gesture of gratitude for the hospital staff, doctors, and nurses.

Doing what she can, creating a simple daily structure within the uncertainty of the unknown makes her feel safe.

During a time of uncertainty, remind yourself to let go of the big stuff and focus instead on what is in front of you now.

I admirably think of my mom, determined to build her strength daily by walking rounds, smiling and carting her chemo drip on the hospital floor. It reminds me of what life is all about:

“One step at a time,” as my wise mother says. That’s how we experience the uncertainty of the unknown.

So, what small step might you take? What simple thing might you do to embrace the fullness of your life today?

Did you enjoy this post?

TINY WIDSOM : ITS NOT ALL JUST ABOUT YOU

http://tinybuddha.com/quotes/tiny-wisdom-its-not-all-about-you/

TINY WIDSOM : ITS NOT ALL JUST ABOUT YOU.

 

“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” -Miguel Ruiz

Years back, in a group therapy circle, I met a man who provided an interesting definition for paranoia: It’s when you’re sitting in the bleachers at a football game, watching the players in a huddle, convinced they’re talking about you.

While I’ve never suspected professional athletes were secretly laughing at me between plays, I have taken responsibility for a lot of things that likely had nothing to do with me.

Just recently, I emailed a friend of mine from back home, only to question myself when days went by and she didn’t respond. I wondered if I’d somehow written the wrong thing. Or if there was something offensive I did previously that I completely forgot about.

I created all types of needless drama in my head about her opinion of me, when in all reality, it’s highly unlikely her slow response time had anything to do with me. People get busy, and most of us have way too many online accounts to check on a given day.

Even if her actions did have something to do with me, it was pointless speculate about it. She’d either tell me what was bothering her or she wouldn’t–and if she didn’t, it was on her, not me.

I don’t know if it’s possible to be immune to other people’s opinions and actions. Because we value our relationships, we care about what those people think. But there is a difference between respecting what people think and worrying ceaselessly about what they think of us.

As a recovering people-pleaser, I often need to remind myself that what really matters is what I think of me–and that I’ll think far more of me if I resist the urge to create stories about other people’s actions.

Today if you start reading into something another person and stressing about his opinion of you, remember: There’s a distinct possibility it’s not about you. Until you know, it’s pointless to worry about it.

Buddha

6 Ways To Find Happiness @ Work

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/6-ways-to-find-happiness-at-work/

Mug Shot

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by James Clear

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

A few years back, I worked in a medical practice.

I’d always been fascinated with medicine, and the position allowed me virtually free reign within the practice. I was able to sit in at the operating room during procedures, learn about the medical billing process, chat with patients in the physical therapy unit, and much more.

Basically, the position was a great fit for me, but I still wasn’t happy at work.

Even though I had exposure to many areas, I was rarely given the responsibility I thought I deserved. My opinions seemed to count for very little, and I only had a few friends within the practice—if you could call them that.

Even though I was in a good job in the field that I loved, I still left each day feeling a little less happy with my decision to work there. I didn’t hate my job, but was this really what I was hoping for? I would think things like, “Is this as good as it’s going to get for me?” Or “Is this job going to make me happy, or am I going to be stuck in neutral forever?”

It’s easy to fall into this trap of mediocrity. In the beginning, you might be excited to start something new. But pretty soon you fall into a routine, and then one day you wake up and feel like you’re sleep walking through each work day.

The good news is that life doesn’t have to be perfect for you to find happiness at work. Here are 6 ways that I turned the sadness ship around and found joy at my job.

1. Develop a social circle.

One of the key indicators of happiness is having a strong social network.

It’s easy to hate your job when you don’t know your co-workers. And it’s even easier to keep hating it if you continue to avoid them. The situation isn’t going to change if your actions stay the same.

In my case, when I came in, I was training with one person for the first week. They were nice, but they didn’t introduce me to anyone else. After that week, everyone was used to seeing me walking the halls, but they were also used to not talking with me. Before I knew it, I had been there two months and barely knew anyone.

When I finally broke the silence, I found out that many of my co-workers were great.

Don’t let another day go by without learning about your co-workers. Friends don’t just fall into people’s laps. You have to make an effort and get to know them. Reach out to your co-workers and be curious about their lives. Two people have never become friends without one of them starting the conversation.

2. Look for opportunities for growth instead of failure.

So often, we worry about protecting ourselves at work. We look at situations not as opportunities to grow, but as a chance to fail. We view new ideas with skepticism. The thought that is always in the back of our minds is, “Will this make me look bad?”

The result is that we seldom take advantage of the opportunities before us.

If you feel like you’re always on the defensive on your job, then take a deep breath and look for an opportunity instead. Take joy in the fact that there is always a new project to start in the workplace. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you work, there is always something new that could be done.

Instead of punching the clock and settling in to the same routine, take some time to search for new opportunities. Constantly defending yourself is draining for everyone involved. You’ll find it much easier—and pleasant—to look for opportunities to grow instead of trying to protect yourself.

3. Help someone solve a problem.

When you’re feeling down, there are few actions that can help lift your spirits as much as helping someone else.

When I felt stuck, I reached out to a doctor in the practice who was working on some exciting new research. His study was interesting, but he was too busy (and thought he was too important) to do some of the grunt work.

I offered to do it for him. As a result, I worked on groundbreaking research and helped the doctor move forward with his project. After that, he became one of my biggest advocates.

Help someone else solve a problem and you just might solve some of your own.

4. Take on additional responsibility.

Becoming a more important piece of the puzzle is a sure fire way to improve your attitude at work.

It’s easier to feel excited when you know that your opinion counts. Taking on additional responsibilities will make you feel more respected and valued in the workplace.

If you don’t know where to start, ask your supervisor for suggestions on projects where you can help out.

5. Have enough courage to ask.

If you hate something about your job, then have the courage to ask if you can change it.

If you sit around and expect someone else to change your situation, then you’re going to be sitting for a long time. People are too busy with their own jobs to worry about whether or not you’re satisfied with your role.

Want to get away from a co-worker who annoys you? Ask if you can move to a different department. Want to work on a different project? Ask if you can help out with something new. Want a promotion? Ask your boss what you can do to start working towards it. Want a raise? Ask if you can take on more responsibility and prove that you’re worth more.

You can’t be overbearing or nagging, of course, but you’ll be surprised by how easily you can get what you want if you start asking for it.

6. Take actions that increase good will.

Most of us are happy when people say good things about us. When you do good things for other people, you create happiness for them and set the stage to receive it in return.

For example, compliments are so simple that we often forget about them, but they are so powerful that we should never take them for granted.

If you want to gain the respect of your co-worker, then send them a note about the great presentation they gave last week. If you want to receive the praise of your boss, then praise him first. If you want to catch the eye of the new CEO, then compliment her on the job she has done so far.

You can take this strategy a step further by not being as picky as well. For example, if you’re giving a presentation and your co-worker gets their part 80% right, then don’t worry about correcting them. In the vast majority of situations, it’s far more important to remain a united team than it is to correct every detail.

Try spending a day giving out compliments instead of criticizing people. Gaining respect and happiness in the workplace is easy when good will is abundant.

Finding happiness is as much about the decisions and actions you take as it is about having good things happen to you. And remember, if you don’t enjoy your life, change it! Doing the same thing today will create the same results tomorrow. Try some of these strategies and put yourself in a position for happiness.

 

the Author

Author

James Clear is the founder and voice behind Passive Panda. For more tips on creating freedom and happiness in business, join Passive Panda’s Free Newsletter.

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